Look Out, Ladies

i'm not sure how this is even possible. if you had told me the same thing about your child when i didn't have one of my own, i would likely have laughed with you and feigned a little amusement. internally i would have been rolling my eyes and accusing you of being one of those parents who overestimates what their child is capable of.

my 15 month old knows the difference between girls and boys. and he LOVES the ladies. i mean, loves them. love love love love. tiny babies, toddlers, cougars, you name it. he gravitates toward them. he follows them around. he gives them kisses.

we went to the park with a friend a few days ago. e had gotten off work early so he tagged along for a play date where he and jp were the ONLY y chromosomes present.

7 double x chromosomes v. slides.

we may have just given him the most difficult decision he has ever faced. play or be a playah?

he managed to do both. though i'm not sure the girls knew they were being wooed, to be honest.

he taught himself how to start from the stairs on the opposite side of the jungle gym and make his way to the slides (at the very top of the jungle gym) and go down.... totally alone.

impressed yet ladies?

mommy and daddy certainly were.

i've turned into that parent. and you know what? I DON'T CARE!!!!!!! MY KID IS TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! :) the reality is that i probably do overplay his cognitive skills just a tad. and his physical capabilities, while certainly advanced, aren't guiness world record worthy (yet!!).

but the big bang theory happened to my internal organs and a mere 2 years later the product of that spontaneous combustion has climbed onto my bar stool computer chair (it has a back!), wiggled his way behind me, made the sign for food so he can steal my french toast and is now giving me a back rub (a ploy to get more french toast).

i'm pretty sure that 2 years after earth's birth she was still working on amoebas.

i'm allowed to be proud. just sayin'.

Sleeping Quarters

have you ever been to the biltmore estate? i went over a decade ago and it was stunning then. i remember giggling at the separate sleeping quarters for mr. and mrs. vanderbilt.

sometimes i envy them.

i'm sure i could convince my husband to adorn our room in purple velvet and gold embroidery. totally within our price range as a one income family in the military. clearly that's not the issue.

generally speaking our queen size bed has just enough space for the two of us.

generally speaking.

while watching a dvr-ed episode of harry's law, we began discussing our restraint of using violence against one another in our marriage.

translation: i mentioned to e that there have been a few times that i have honestly had to stop myself from punching him in the face.

e: "really? like when?"
me: "umm.... well, you've been asleep every time..."

let's talk about the olden days of yore.

when babies were teething, the remedy was whiskey. when people were fever stricken and hallucinating, the doctors poured liquor down their throats. what would warm a person on a cold winter's night when central heating and air hadn't made it out east yet? ALCOHOL.

i imagine the vanderbilts have more in common with us than fine taste in drapery.

 my guess is that mrs. vanderbilt had seen mr. vanderbilt fall "ill" so many times that she knew precisely how a night of sleep would (or rather, wouldn't) play out once the nuptials were said and done.

she knew she would wake up to find a sweaty ogre crushing her right leg, breathing on her face with unbrushed teeth while wrapping himself in her half of the blanket as well as his own (and sweating through it, might i remind you). she knew that no matter how many times she tried to frighten him into moving off of her side of the bed with her freezing cold feet, tried pinching his nose shut or lightly slapping his face, he would not budge. she was aware that she could scream at him and the screams would be unheard because his headphones would be blaring a senseless comedy channel on the aol radio directly into his eardrums, rendering him temporarily deaf.

and as a last ditch effort to reclaim her side of the bed and a few winks of sleep before she inevitably was the one to get up with the toddler the next morning, she would reel back and punch him in the chest. and he would, finally, move.

luckily for her, he would have no recollection of the domestic abuse, but she would live with the guilt for many moons.

so she just went ahead and got herself her own room.

that's my version of the story, but i could be wrong. i can't really speak from experience or anything.

Evolution

you would think by this time that good ole' darwin would have slowly and methodically eliminated the mechanisms that cause morning sickness. although i can't prove it, i'm fairly certain that morning sickness has to have killed at least one person in history.

ok, that might be a stretch.

in all seriousness, i haven't had much morning sickness. a little nausea here and there, sure. but no sickness. instead i have raging heartburn and a correlating total disinterest in food. nothing sounds worth eating when your esophagus is trying to climb out of your GI tract through a gap in your ribs while your stomach attempts to maul your intestines with acidic warfare.

or while you're cleaning the aftermath of your son's rotovirus from the carpets. i digest... err... digress...

i want to update this blog. i think about it often. but at this particular moment in time i'm eating to sustain and nourish, not for joy. and focusing a sliver of my free time on something that already has me feeling frustrated sort of defeats the purpose this blog began with. it was intended to be an outlet, a piece of myself that wasn't focused on anything but myself.

food will become my dear friend again, but until it does, i'd like my blog to evolve.

my life is overflowing with silly mishaps, the quaint and common stories associated with child rearing and an army lifestyle. the posts may not all be long and i think there will rarely be anything to learn, but i hope there will be loads of laughter and eye rolling.

here we goooooooo!!!!

Hiatus

i took one.... whoops! sorry about that! pregnancy takes its toll i suppose, along with a basket full of life's other curve balls.

so pregnancy. list off in your mind a few of the common signs of an impending birth: nausea, pickles and ice cream, giant belly, swollen feet, healthy glow, FABULOUS hair, you remember.

let's talk about pickles and ice cream. pregnancy cravings and food aversions are a riot. your life becomes a sort of personal war zone with landmines in places you couldn't possibly have foreseen them. thankfully in this war you won't lose a limb, just your lunch, if you should accidentally hit one of these bombs.

my personal landmine for the past 4 months has been meat. there have been a few other odd aversions thrown in that lasted a few weeks but meat has been consistent. chicken, beef, pork, all of it looks horrifying to me. fish is my friend right now.

this isn't any major upheaval in my life because i ate vegetarian for some time. i'm quite capable of fending for myself without one of the common meat sources and even more able if i have fish. i also seem to be craving pasta and carbs of all kinds which is working in my favor!

so let's start there, with a carb-y fishy-y recipe that i will end up using stock photos for (don't judge! a hiatus is hard to come back from ;) )

tuna steaks and curried couscous
this is enough for 2 people :)

2 tuna steaks (i have no sizes for this... just... you know, steak sized...)

per serving of couscous:
use chicken stock instead of called for amount of water
1/4t ground pepper
1/4t curry powder

mix pepper and curry into chicken stock, cook couscous according to package directions.

heat a skillet to medium high and add a T or so of olive oil
season tuna steaks on one side. i think a nice peppery rub is perfect on tuna steaks! i like to use a mix of pepper, salt and one other spice and rub it on thick on one side of the steak. throw it into the skillet (it should sizzle!) and rub down the other side. cook for 2 minutes on each side for a nice rare center.

 

like this!