our house has been plagued by an enormous army of soldiers more commonly known as allergens.
i seriously envision them stabbing our nasal cavities with bayonets fashioned from twigs, covered in pollen poison.
i am still nursing, so the list of allergy medications i can take is limited- allergy medication by nature is meant to dry you out (runny nose, watery eyes, general oozing). it does not discriminate between phlegm and breastmilk, so many allergy medications can significantly deplete your milk supply. calvin basically refuses to accept that sippy cups have any purpose in life other than for him to fling around, so wiping out my milk supply seems like a very poor idea.
and by poor, i clearly mean on par with whoever thought up jelly shoes.
i can honestly deal with the discomfort. i gave birth naturally for heavens' sake! i am taking care of 2 children under the age of 3 by myself! i don't need no stinkin benadryl! i am woman! HEAR ME ROAR!!!
ok, hear me hack and cough up a wad of snot while my whole face turns splotchy shades of red and i begin to cry involuntarily and i wait for my chest to explode.
same thing as a roar.
the worst part of allergies for me is that i can't sing. in fact, the last 3-4 mornings i've woken up barely able to talk. my sweet, sweet coffee from my brother in law (BARISTA BROTHER IN LAWS ROCK!) has soothed my aching throat and the caffeine is probably the one thing that's really doing any work to relieve my constant headache.
coffee is my best, local, friend.
i have been singing more or less my whole life (which, if you recall my earlier post about being half deaf, is sort of a surprise to a lot of people). my brother dabbled a bit in a few stringed instruments and my sister got the double whammy and can both sing and play some music-machines.
singing is cathartic for me. i don't have much cause to sing in the house. i'm usually sort of preoccupied.
thankfully, with e gone i am the only one to run errands. also, our errands all magically have to be done at least 20 minutes away most of the time.
so i sing in the car.
it might be more accurate to say that i have a car-ride-long "the voice" style battle round with the radio.
and i am ALWAYS the winner.
adam levine would pick me EVERY time.
blake might not, but i don't trust his decisions anyway.
cee lo's cat would even be turned on.
and christina is begging me to let her sing on stage next to me
it's all true. every bit. don't question it.
there was a time when i would try really hard to look like i wasn't belting at the top of my lungs from the driver's seat. i was concerned that other drivers would make fun of me.
and then a few years ago, a few thoughts dawned on me:
1. nobody is paying that much attention to my car.
2. i will NEVER see those people on the road again, so what's the worst they can do? make fun of me to their friends who i will also never meet? ooooh the horror of strangers making fun of me and my never ever knowing about it!!!
3. it is really hard to hit all the dramatic notes of a song with your mouth half shut.
so now i have no shame. i'm busting it out like i'm dreamlover mariah carey, like i own the road and allllllll those people are my audience.
those honks are cheers of encouragement. the middle fingers? feverish clapping. they're on the phone calling their friends to tell them that they just saw the next american idol.
i'm the sh*t girl, i'm the biggest hit girl (see what i did there?).
but right now, i can't sing because my throat is under siege. so i sit hunched over in my car, bored, detached.
yes, even a touch depressed.
i have been eliminated from the battle round, voted off by POLLEN and the great state of alabama.
but don't you worry folks, i'll come back swinging. it'll try to break me, but you see, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....
bwahahahaha
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