Ears.

this will be a slightly more serious post with a happy addition of a recipe!! WOOHOO!!!

i have an ear thing. 

really.

one of my ears decided to stop working in my early years. we found out when i was eight. hence only one side of my head is pulling any weight (which could be said for many issues with my head, not just my ears). i get yearly hearing tests and i'm not supposed to be anywhere with a sound level above 80 decibels. 

side note to hearing impaired children, a lawn mower runs at 90 decibels. do the math. use the excuse.

i can also only sit on one side of people (well, people that i want to listen to anyway), so it comes out that i'm deaf pretty early on in relationships that i want to maintain. 

upon finding out that i'm hearing impaired, i cannot tell you the number of parents who asked "did you have a lot of ear infections as a kid?" i did not, but i always thought it was strange that people didn't immediately blame scarlet fever, or q-tips shoved too far into the ear.

more so than that, how does EVERYONE come to the exact same conclusion of ear infection? why not sinus infection? why not a lot of colds? what is it about ear infections that stand out to people??

i've had ear infections as an adult. they usually bring some pain and discomfort, a little congestion, nothing earth shattering. you get on antibiotics and you can't hear for a few days. hey, THAT'S MY LIFE EVERY DAY!!!!

guess what? that's not how it works for infants. the reason parents all blame ear infections is because their memories of them are HORRIFYING.

because his ears and tubes are so little, they clog fast and hard. that means 

1. he can't sleep on his back. say good-bye to hours of sleep that you would have gotten and get friendly with your rocking chair. you'll be in it all night long holding your baby upright while he lays on your shoulder, eyes wide open and tears dripping out like a leaky faucet.

2. she can't breathe. that alone is frustrating for anyone.

3. he can't eat. because he can't breathe. so you'll be marathon feeding in between rocking. if you're lucky your baby will be in to solid food when they get their first ear infection (i was in this lucky category) and you can just give them more solid food for a few days. spoon feeding is much easier than bottle feeding when you're stuffed up. "but wait leanne, won't all that solid food make my baby constipated?" no. because

4. she will have amazing explosive diarrhea. i didn't wear a shirt after about 2 p.m. the second day he was sick because my first one got vomited on, my second got diarrhea-ed on, and my third got soaked through with sweat during a rocking session because of 

5. fever. you just can't get rid of it. your baby will be a pink inferno. that's rough during a hot summer because baby turns cool pool water into a jacuzzi in a matter of 20 minutes. on the plus side, if you can get baby rocked to sleep for a little while, you and your husband can go enjoy your new plastic whirlpool!!!

6. you, and your baby, are MISERABLE.

if you are unlucky enough to have a baby with an ear infection on a weekend, you will spend HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS of your life in an ER. and when you finally get your baby rocked to sleep, the doctor will come in and wake him up to examine him for literally a minute and a half, diagnose him with an ear infection, and leave you with a screaming baby for 40 minutes while he writes a rx. glorious.

so my baby is sick and now i'm freaking out and wondering if he's going to end up being one of those babies who needs tubes in his ears because he gets infections every 3 weeks. i have no grounds to reasonably be worried, but i'm sleep deprived and irrational anyway.

i'm a firm believer in homeopathic remedies (not ONLY homeopathic remedies, mind you), so i googled a bunch about herbs and amoxicillin and everything in this came up clean-- but ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR PEDIATRICIAN FIRST!!!!! please don't be the parent in the ER who says "but i read it on a blog!!! i thought it would be safe!"

if you have an herb garden, or your neighbor has one, this is outrageously cheap. we're talking the cost of ginger root. that's about a buck. if you don't have an herb garden, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU GETTING ONE!!!! the cost for one package of herbs at any major supermarket literally costs the same as a plant from a hardware store. (and it has more on it than you get in that package and reproduces) you can pick up a starter garden from home depot for $10 that has 4 herbs and a planter. herbs require almost no attention. thyme grows best in cracks in sidewalks. no lie. 

i'll list what the herbs are good for first, then the recipe, so you can sort of pick and choose which symptoms your baby has and make your tea accordingly

ginger--good for upset tummies, a bit of a pain reliever, and an antispetic

stevia-for sweetening note: DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT EEEEEEEEEEEEVER use honey as a sweetener for a child under 1 year of age. honey contains bacteria that infants under 1 do not have the proper flora to digest. your child could get botulism from consuming honey.

sage- for drying out snot. note: sage tea is also good to dry up your breastmilk if you are weaning

chamomile- good for calming, relaxing, helping to sleep, and slightly sweet.

EAR INFECTION GRIPE WATER

4c water

2 inches of ginger root, peeled and sliced into 1/4- 1/8in wide discs

1-2 tablespoons sage leaves

2 tablespoons stevia leaves

half a palmful of chamomile flowers

2 coffee filters

boil the water, add ginger discs. bring the heat down and let it simmer for 25 minutes.

while those are cooking, bundle all of the leaves and flowers into the center of a coffee filter. bring all the sides of the filter up and tie the whole thing shut with string (think wedding favors-- the little mesh bags with m&ms in them ((it better be m&ms!!! rice kills birds!!!)))

add the bag'o'leaves to the ginger tea and let it steep (cook in the heat) for 5-10 minutes.

turn off the heat. put the other coffee filter in a colander and strain the tea into a bowl or large vessel where it can cool.

refrigerate! i dilute this the same way i dilute juice-- 3 parts water to 1 part tea. i use it in his bottles or give it to him straight if he's met his caloric needs for the say, or if he's been out in the sun :)

it won't last more than a few days (2-3), so feel free to help your kiddo polish it off :) all those things are good for you too!!