Texas

blanket apology to my texan friends. you are certainly all exceptions and i'm sure there are other exceptions in the state that i have not met.

texas was a mistake. we should have just handed it over to santa anna. i'm not even sure if that's how you spell his name. i don't care any more than i care about the history of the alamo. "people died for their freedom at the alamo! how can you be so callous?!" um, pretty sure people died for my freedom in the revolutionary war, but i don't sit around memorizing the spelling of the names of the men in parliament at the time. i know how to spell sam houston, so untwist those panties!

we lived in texas as a family for 5 years and then i stayed for college for another 4.

and then i left. promptly.

there is a long list of things that i could go off about, but i will choose one. ok, two.

every time i walk off of a plane into houston, i think my lungs shrivel up and cringe. there is a reason that the best cancer center in america is in houston. they're trying to make up for the bad karma of having so much smog that they CREATE cancer.

side note, MD Anderson is an amazing, wonderful hospital and they have worked miracles there. i am endlessly grateful for the medical center and the beautiful years they've given to families and for the care my sister and my soon to be arriving niecephew have received at st lukes.

my second rant will bring no disclaimers, apologies, or attempts to smooth out the roughness of my accusations.

without fail, every time i've flown into houston (and that's well over a dozen times), i walk off the plane and within 100 feet of the gate, i am assaulted by oversized bejeweled crosses hanging gawdily from the necks of women wearing shirts that proudly own their status as "Jesus' favorite cowgirl", too tight jeans and tacky cowboy boots. they also have more make up than ru paul.

i should mention that for most of these women, the closest they've been to a farm is the vat of corn in their local walmart every summer.


i'm down with Jesus, don't make that mistake. i just wonder if maybe the proper tribute to Him doesn't involve taking the bloody, splintering, cruel, hard slabs of wood that He was NAILED to, and covering them in rhinestones, glitter, and sterling silver designs.


i'm so grateful to be here with my sister, to be able to share some time and resources with them. but once i get home, i'm planning on constructing some sort of eyewear that can block out anything made by a bedazzler. look for it on ebay.


i'll be sure to cover the sweet shades in diamonds and sapphires.