Beet it!

ok, let's talk about farmer's markets. i love 'em. i love farmers. they're so quaint! and rude!!!

go into a farmer's market wearing skinny jeans, giant bug-eye sunglasses, spikey peep-toes and a deliberately tattered t-shirt. they will make fun of you. roll their eyes. and when you ask "what's this?"  while holding up a bell pepper, they will walk out of the barn and laugh at you. hysterically. i've seen it happen. don't ever mistake a farmer for a fool.

i'm into this whole green/organic fad society's got going on. we use cloth diapers, i make my own baby food, i garden, we drive one car, and we even bought energy efficient light bulbs.

move over al gore, we got this.

i made an attempt this summer to plant foods that i'm unfamiliar with. of course i included my cliche buddies--tomatoes, peas, cucumbers, and a host of herbs (all of which are doing beautifully). peppers and lettuce were an introduction for my green thumb. okra and beets would meet my taste buds for the first time.

the peas are doing alright. the okra, lettuce, cucumber, cayenne, and petite bell pepper plants are surprisingly prolific.

the beets failed. one beet made it, and it's really not that impressive and probably will never be edible. i was not entirely upset about this.

when i think of beets, i imagine eating something that looks, tastes, and stains like a heart. even doug funny's excitement over beets couldn't convince me.

i went to a local farmer's market yesterday to get some fresh vegetables for a summer salad. wide variety of peppers for $.35 each? yes please. banana, italian, green bell, serrano... mmmmm... sweet corn, red potatoes, plums, peaches, sweet potatoes, butternut squash (a bit early!!!!), red onion, yellow squash, eggplant, green beans....

I'M IN HEAVEN!!

and then i saw it. a container of beets. i almost walked by. but my mom loves beets and she was so excited about having a garden overflowing with them, and my poor research skills had left her out to dry. (fyi, beets DO NOT transplant. they just die.) so i grabbed a container of 4 and walked out with plans to make her a beet and onion salad, which i would have no part in eating.

back home. roasted/grilled/sauteed everything with fresh herbs. let me just tell you now, the smell created by fresh vegetables and herbs is unlike anything that produce from your super wal-mart could ever rival. magnificent.

as i peeled the skin from my roasted beets, i couldn't help my fascination at how little they smelled like what i assume a heart does. they weren't bleeding either!! no aorta to be found.

and the color these little bulbs left on my hand was literally brilliant in every sense of the word. i couldn't resist. i skeptically popped a wedge in, fully expecting a giant squirt of beet-heart-blood-juice to infiltrate my mouth causing immediate vomiting all over my mom's beet salad.

beets are delicious. they have this taste that vaguely resembles roasted corn, but so much better. and the texture is unbelievable. it's a marvelous food.

so i scarfed down an entire bowl of beety, oniony deliciousness. my mom and i are fighting over the leftovers.

one major downside to beets? aside from the strange looks you get from people when you rant and rave about how amazing they are (you would think you were telling people you were eating a beating heart!)...

you pee pink.

yep. you read it right.

so if you aren't prepared, you'll go to the bathroom, stand up, clean up, turn around, look down and GASP because you have obviously filled the bowl with blood from a UTI that you didn't even realize you had.

now, on the PLUS side of that scenario-- UTIs that cause blood in the urine are usually pretty bad. as in your-kidneys-are-already-infected-bad. but since you won't be feeling any burning, pain, or frequent urges to hit the john, you will suddenly believe that you must have developed super-hero caliber pain tolerance overnight.

downside to that? you might try to jump off your building cheerleader-claire style. you will break.

but when your loved ones are nursing you back to health while you sit calmly in traction (sedatives, anyone?), hopefully someone will remember that beets are a powerhouse food, bursting with folate (great for pregnancy), potassium, fiber (both great for digestion), vitamin c, and iron (also both great during pregnancy!). they also boast the highest natural concentrations of sugar of all the veggies, with shockingly low calorie content-- about 74 calories per cup.

i also hope, for your sake, that someone realizes that your pink pee came from beets. wouldn't want to get you on unnecessary antibiotics. because obviously at that point antibiotics would be one of your biggest concerns.

support your local farmers and your body!! EAT MORE VEGETATION!!!